I was recently asked where do I find myself at this point in my life.....I pondered, and pondered. I searched back through the years, from very early on, to now. How did I respond you wonder? I smiled...almost sadly, but with wisdom (at least I hope I've garnered some).
I thought of my life in terms of a restaurant menu...
For starters, my life began as an aperitif.. A sparkling wine was I as a child...filled with wonder and curiosity of this world. I was very outgoing, always the little actress with the friendly smile when another child was nearby. I was the one who championed the kid who was bullied at school. I was the one who would one day become a teacher, a lawyer, or a nurse. I dreamed quite a lot those days.
I chose my teen years as the appetizer of my life. Outgoing still and with many friends, my turbulent teenage years were filled with crushes, school band and chorus fun, French for sophistication, heart-ache over a first-love, and the ever present question...what shall I do after high school? I became lost in the music and days of old. I was called the 50's girl. Not very popular was I... but I was content in my own little world. High school was at its end. Many friends parted ways and it was time to move on to the next course.
Then came the salad years... Oh what lovely years. I was in the midst of self-discovery. I worked several jobs, went to a few schools, and studied radio broadcasting. I immersed myself in the love of all things old (vintage, Victorian, Edwardian). I met my husband during those years at an oldies show he was hosting. We were married a year later. It was during those years that I became a domestic engineer. Oh how I loved being a homemaker and hostess! I was given wings to fly. I made many new friends during those years. I made the husband happy......I was happy.
Yet every happy scene must have a sad entry...no? Well in my menu it did. The dressing in my salad course turned bad...very sour. I grew up, really grew up during those years of my husband's illness and passing. I learned grief, but with that grief came acceptance and a new discovery. I discovered ME. I found a woman of courage and strength, for as the song says, I picked myself up...dusted myself off..and started all over again. I took on the business, practically overnight and have tackled many obstacles along the way. It's not been easy, but I'm not afraid.
So where am I in my life right now?
This is my Intermezzo. I am now in the in-between of life's menu....my palate must be cleansed before I move on to the main course...the rest of my life. *smiles* It is in this stage of my life...this tasty sorbet... where I shall hone my skills, improve myself as a human being, and continue my quest of self discovery....for there is so much more to me that I've yet to discover. Oh..and believe me, I shall make sure to enjoy this quest...this brief foray... before the intermezzo is taken off the table. I do hope my main course will be an absolutely delicious dish. *playfully smiles*
Did I mention? I can hardly wait for dessert!!!
I hope your life menu has served up some wonderful dishes!!
Happy Autumn! The season of change...beautiful change...has arrived.
I am now fully awake, for it seems I hibernate during the summer and come alive in Autumn. Once winter comes...I'll be at my peak. *smiles* Did I mention I love winter? The afghans are ready to come out and be placed in every room, and the firewood properly stacked and ready. My tea cabinet is fully stocked as is the baking cabinet. I look forward to many evenings in the kitchen...filled with the aroma of comfort food.
Time to prepare the woolens and get out the comfy slippers. Oh, and did I mention I've already started Halloween preparations? Never too early to get into the spirit of things. As I always say... grab that bull by the horns.
Anyhow, I wanted to stop by and say hello. I hope this day has been a lovely one for you all. I wish for you an Autumn season of comfort, happy moments, and love!
I love this...the peace and calm. The clouds are nigh, and the brisk breeze is blowing through the windows. Outside those windows, the Rose of Sharon trees tremble slightly...politely nudged by the wind. The linden waves to me in its tall, majestic splendor...protective in shade and in sheltering those beautiful creatures of nature. The herbs are whispering softly, asking to be harvested very soon ....before the first frost makes pretty cold pearls of the dew upon their green.
The rain is hovering...waiting for the right moment to cascade upon this earth. I welcome it with a smile and invite it to come down and make its beautiful, hypnotic sounds as it falls upon my window panes. An unfinished book is lying upon the table..beckoning me to turn its pages and lose myself in its world. The kettle too is calling...reminding me that a cup of tea will complete the serenity surrounding me.
*sigh*
How tranquil I am at this moment...how in love with this precise point in my life.
Mr. Knightley is sleeping...curled up in a black ball of the softest, velvety fur I have ever felt.
How beautiful.
Harmonie House, my Shangri-La, is quiet..yet I can feel the stirrings within. I can sense the beating of the heart which lies deep within its walls...for this home is alive with feeling and spirit. Its beams sigh along with me in appreciation of now....today.
Perhaps this reverie will dissipate shortly. But for now...this very minute...this moment is mine...all mine.
Happy September to you all. I hope the weather has been as delightful for you as it has been for me. The evenings have been quite lovely with just a hint of coolness to remind me that the season of comfort is upon us.
The picture above has inspired this post. Such a lovely message it conveys to me. Acceptance...I have accepted the changes in my life...and I do not like change. However, I have stared down the big elephant of change. We now see one another, eye to eye. I can now place my hand upon this creature and say "It's okay...you were inevitable. I just needed time. I accept you. I've made my peace with you."
Funny though...change comes in so many ways. A dear friend who has known me for about 5 years recently asked me...."Who are you really? You are not the Sandra I met five years ago. I see many facets of you, all these glimpses of a different woman...many women in one you." I begin to wonder...is it really a change or is this finally the true me emerging from my cocoon?
No matter....I love me and shall embrace this woman I have become.
Me thinks perhaps tis the Autumn underway...right around the corner.
The air is crackling with energy...sweet yet mysterious vibes. I feel it all around me. What exactly is surrounding me with such force that makes me smile in anticipation?? I bite my lip playfully as I look around me and wonder. What enchantment has nature put me under? For I know that the slightest hint of coolness in the air...the merest whisper of change in season casts a spell of splendor... wistfulness...and contentment in all that surrounds me. I light the scented candles. My kitchen smells of freshly baked oatmeal cookies (though I did bake brownies last night)...the rest of the house is scented in an aroma of crisp Autumn. It's tough to explain the essence. Let's just say that a whiff of it has you seeing colorful leaves in abundance, pumpkins on the steps, a stew on the stove, herbs harvested and hung to dry, and an apple pie freshly baked...piping hot.
This is the magical spirit permeating Harmonie House at this moment. This is my witch's brew for the season...this is the spell I'm casting for all who enter my abode. Enchantment is everywhere. Come visit...I'll have my cauldron on the fire. It'll be brewing a smile, warmth, a nice cup of tea, an afghan made by my own hands to keep you warm on chilly evenings, a book to take you away to other lands, laughter, soft music, a cat on the lap, and most of all...comfort to lull you to the land of nod when the lights go out.
*sigh* Ahhh...sweet autumn. I await thee and welcome thee with open arms. I am ready.
Though it is yet late summer....within these walls Fall has arrived.
Casting wonderful and warm thoughts of Autumn your way my dears.
I'm now at my desk in what will officially become my writing room sometime in the future. It's very warm and muggy out. Truth be told, I'm ready for Autumn! Are you?
I want to talk about the word BLISS. Pretty word, is it not? Even the sound of it falls gracefully from ones lips. I can hear myself speaking it, almost in a whisper, over and over again...bliss, bliss, bliss. It's as if I can conjure all that is wonderful and blissful just by the mention of this word.
Bliss. What does bliss mean to you? Bliss to me is many, many things. I shall share.
Bliss is Harmonie House...Mr. Knightley...everyday blessings...family...dear friends...a cup of tea on a cold evening while sitting by the fireplace...a good book...laughter...good food...dragonflies...nature...tears brought on by beautiful moments...memories of loved ones...soft warm socks...soft sheets...wellingtons... music...kindness towards human kind... lavender... writing...the sun in the morning and the moon at night...dancing as if no one is watching...touching... a lingering smoldering look.....a kiss. And that dear friends is just a short list of what constitutes Bliss to me. There is so much more, but I would need to fill pages and pages. *smiles*
I'm feeling rather blissful this day. Are you? I do hope so!!
When my world crumbled, back on March 4th, 2008, I had to accept the fact that my life would have to change..I'd have to start all over again. During that time of sadness, confusion, and just plain disillusion, I lost myself to music. Music became the words of my soul, and the background to my everyday life. When I was angry, I found angry music to sing to...when I was hopeful, I found songs that lifted my spirit. There was one title of a song that spoke of hope that life wouldn't always be so somber and hopeless. That one title spoke volumes.."The Best Is Yet To Come." I spoke those words to myself over and over as my mantra. I thought to myself, behind every dark cloud lies the sun..waiting to come out and brighten the world. So indeed I would keep myself hopeful, for I knew the best was yet to come for me... I thought I would share this video of Peggy Lee singing the words to such an uplifting title. Enjoy My Dears!
It's a mildly warm and cloudy Sunday morning as I sit here at my kitchen table, having a yummy cup of coffee. The church bells are tolling a lovely melody nearby as I go into lazy Sunday mode.
In my long cotton summer dress with floral print, I wandered out into my garden this morning to water my herbs under the eaves. The rest of the flowers will be getting a nice shower by Mother Nature pretty soon. What wonderful surprises are in store for me on this lovely and most favorite of days? I guess I shall see.
Mr. Knightley is napping under the bed...and I shall lazily relax in my dear abode of harmony and tranquility. *sigh*
I wish you all a wonderful Sunday spent in glorious wonder, and joy!
I do hope you have all been having a most wonderful summer. I've been keeping busy and sometimes pleasantly so.
Today I'm having one of those days when I become philosophical about "my" life in general. I've learned so much this past year, my first one as a widow. I've had some good times and some bad times. I made new discoveries and many mistakes. Mind you all..I have learned from my mistakes....at least I hope so.
I've learned that though I am relatively a nice woman...very loving, giving, supportive, etc...I also have a very "not nice" side to me. Oh don't worry my dears...that side only comes out when my ire is raised. I never knew how much till this past year.
I guess because I've always been treated like, as some would say "a princess" (no, I'm not spoiled)...being loved, respected, admired, etc.. I'm not used to being insulted, or being made to feel less-than and such. Perhaps these things have not been directed at me intentionally, but they have hit their mark. Needless to say...the wicked witch of the west makes a fine entrance during these times. She pushes out the good girl..and brings in the "I don't care..you can go to straight to H*LL" persona out of me. Unfortunately...the witch wins out...if only for a while. She makes me cynical...she makes me question people and their intentions...she's a bitch. Pardon the language coming from Lady Harmonie....but that's just the wicked witch speaking. Okay..out with the "bad" me!! I have resolved to carry an invisible sifter. This way I can sift out all the bad that gets into my life. I shall sift the bad emotions, and I shall even sift out the people who have made me feel badly. I must be surrounded only by those feelings and people who bring out the best in me. I want to believe in the kindness of strangers, I want to believe that not everyone will be a fair weather friend....only there when they need me, but not vice-versa.
I shall keep this sifter in hand and before the wicked witch comes through...I'm gonna crank that handle and make powder out of her and the situation. You just wait and see!
On that note, I send hugs and kisses to you my dear blog land friends. I've missed you but am happy to say I am back. I hope to fill you in on lots of good things as time goes by. I love sharing my thoughts with you all, for you have shown me that one can make new and wonderful friends even if they never meet!
