This evening was yet another perfect one for dining outdoors. I made myself a simple dish, poured some wine into a goblet, and went out to my garden.
The breeze felt divine as I savored the moment of being outdoors in nature with birds, chirping away, as my only company.
Funny how one can embrace being alone, for sometimes it does becomes habit. However, this evening found me feeling the loneliness. I sat there, with life and beauty surrounding me....eating alone. I thought of how my husband, had he lived, would be sitting beside me discussing the day's events. I feel his absence on a daily basis, but very much so tonight. I guess perhaps the beauty of the day reminded me of the beauty of my yesterdays with Ron. They were lovely days.
The loneliness was so thick...still is...I can cut it with a knife.
I don't know why I posted this here, when most of time I'm my ever cheerful self...probably just the need to share my feelings. Besides, writing about it is a form of release and therapy.
Please...it's not to garner sympathy or anything of the like. I'll be fine and this too shall pass.
I guess I just wanted the company and you have all been so wonderful. Thank you for always dropping by and reminding me that there is a world out there with so many beautiful individuals.
I need not feel alone.
xoxo
Miss Sandra
