My Dears,
I do hope you have all been having a most wonderful summer. I've been keeping busy and sometimes pleasantly so.
Today I'm having one of those days when I become philosophical about "my" life in general. I've learned so much this past year, my first one as a widow. I've had some good times and some bad times. I made new discoveries and many mistakes. Mind you all..I have learned from my mistakes....at least I hope so.
I've learned that though I am relatively a nice woman...very loving, giving, supportive, etc...I also have a very "not nice" side to me. Oh don't worry my dears...that side only comes out when my ire is raised. I never knew how much till this past year.
I guess because I've always been treated like, as some would say "a princess" (no, I'm not spoiled)...being loved, respected, admired, etc.. I'm not used to being insulted, or being made to feel less-than and such. Perhaps these things have not been directed at me intentionally, but they have hit their mark. Needless to say...the wicked witch of the west makes a fine entrance during these times. She pushes out the good girl..and brings in the "I don't care..you can go to straight to H*LL" persona out of me. Unfortunately...the witch wins out...if only for a while.
She makes me cynical...she makes me question people and their intentions...she's a bitch. Pardon the language coming from Lady Harmonie....but that's just the wicked witch speaking.
Okay..out with the "bad" me!!
I have resolved to carry an invisible sifter. This way I can sift out all the bad that gets into my life. I shall sift the bad emotions, and I shall even sift out the people who have made me feel badly.
I must be surrounded only by those feelings and people who bring out the best in me. I want to believe in the kindness of strangers, I want to believe that not everyone will be a fair weather friend....only there when they need me, but not vice-versa.
I shall keep this sifter in hand and before the wicked witch comes through...I'm gonna crank that handle and make powder out of her and the situation. You just wait and see!
On that note, I send hugs and kisses to you my dear blog land friends. I've missed you but am happy to say I am back.
I hope to fill you in on lots of good things as time goes by. I love sharing my thoughts with you all, for you have shown me that one can make new and wonderful friends even if they never meet!
xoxo
Miss Sandra
Miss Sandra,
ReplyDeleteso very sorry for your loss.
i would say you are entitled
to play any part you wish,
in any scene.
with each performance,
we learn not only our own character
but the characters around us...
the good ones
over time
win our trust.
take your time.
we are supporting you
on this stage, and after the curtain falls.
peace~
Chuck
I'm glad you are learning. I'm especially glad to hear that you "...shall even sift out the people who have made me feel badly."
ReplyDeleteWe really don't have to love everyone, you know. Even though some would try to make us believe, that we must. ,-)
Perhaps this is a Summer of Discovery. :-) I'm taking my own sweet time of it, this Summer, as well. Interesting what we may discover, when we take some time, and change our habits around, a wee bit.
Gentle hugs My Dear,
'Aunt Amelia'
Dear Chuck,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much. You are right. After all, life is a stage. I shall strive for many performances with garner a standing ovation and require an encore....reading your book each night. :)
Aunt Amelia,
How have you been my dear? It's been too long. I agree..we do not have to love everyone who crosses our path. I shall practice tolerance and patience a bit more and just keep that sifter in hand.
Hugs!
Sandra
I started sifting out years ago,I have this theory that if you don;t bring something good and positive to my life...well then I guess I don't need you in it,it may sound cold but I tell you it works...surrond yourself with people who not only love you but like you too!!! Wow,I don;t usually ramble on like that,kinda weird,sorry!! Glad you came by,you must visit more often!!! oxoxoxo
ReplyDeleteChrissy!
ReplyDeleteLovely that you stopped by. You didn't ramble my dear..you made perfect sense. Surround myself with people who not only love me...but like me as well.Words to live by! I shall visit you more often indeed!
xoxo
Miss Sandra,
ReplyDeleteI admire you for striving to improve the good side (I am still struggling with my bad witch side at times too). I always enjoy visiting your blog as it is a place of goodness and grace-I have a feeling that you are that kind of person. Growing is always a difficult thing but no doubt it makes us all better people. Don't be too hard on yourself, we all have our moments of witchiness:). Sifting is a good thing and will yield great results!
Blessings,
Kim
Oh my wicked witchy side springs to life and roars! Menopause will do that. I've learned to channel those "rages" into cleaning house or heavy gardening.
ReplyDeleteOther weird, witchy, wailings? Hmmmmm - I guess when I'm sleep deprived or hungry. But physical reasons and excuses aside, I think it's perfectly normal behaviour at times. And She needs to be acknowledged, black hat and cat and all. But then you can banish her to the closet. And I do like your idea of a sifter.
Did not realize your widowhood was so recent. Hugs and tears, my dear. I know I will be facing the same challenges and growing pains as you are, sometime in the future. It seems to me this is a crone thing (but it's come too early to you, hasn't it?).
Good morning all!
ReplyDeleteKim,
Thank you for your kind words, and for visiting. I definitely try to not be too hard on myself. After all, we're only human, right? I hope you and yours are doing well and happy in your beautiful abode.
Wendy,
You are so funny!But yes, I hear menopause will bring out the witch in one. You are right...she does need to be acknowledged. I guess for the most part, she comes out to protect me...and shield me from the ugliness that sets me off.
Yes, I lost my husband in March of 2008, So it has been a rough roller coaster ride of emotions. However, it has gotten easier...I have moved on bit by bit. I do believe he watches over me and so I'm okay with it now.
I wish you strength, and lots of love when you face that time. It's not easy, but one does get through when one believes it is possible. I send you hugs and well wishes...that you be surrounded by only kindness and love...oh, and lots of patience. One will need it.
Hugs to you both!
Sandra
Good for you! I agree with Chrissy,if someone doesn't bring something good and positive to you life, don't allow them in it. Life is to short.
ReplyDeleteIn love and light,
Laura
Hello Laura!
ReplyDeleteIndeed life is too short and we must spend it in the best and most positive way possible. Gotta live, love, laugh, and dance into the joy of life!
Thank you for stopping by. Have a lovely day!
xo
Sandra
first time here, and am so saddened by your deep loss, and dire change making events.
ReplyDeleteI've come to believe that all behaviors are in every one of us, and life can bring each one to the fore...or not. My own tempestuous reactions to injustice against others will some day be the death of me, I fear. I bear the scars, literally, and pray daily for better responses to make their way forward.
I'll read your tender blog postings with interest.
Hello Ric,
ReplyDeleteWelcome to Harmonie House. Thank you for your kind comments. It's always nice to welcome a new face to the fold. I hope you stop by often. I shall pay you a visit as well. Have a wonderful day!!
Sandra
I do like the idea of the sifter as a way of sorting emotions and people alike. We have all sorts of feeling swirling inside and sometimes it is good to sift through and keep the beneficial and toss the others. But then I also believe that we must vent on occasion to stay healthy emotionally and physically.
ReplyDeleteBut enough of such talk, let's have a party with our dearest of friends and dance until dawn.
Many hugs,
Judy
Can't imagine you sooo mad that you'd cuss. I've only ever heard you cuss in a joking manner! Perhaps we can use the wicked witch powder to make scones...
ReplyDeleteEven on your maddest, most ire-raised day, you're still one of the sweetest people out there!!! Remember, everyone is allowed to be witchy at times. If I'd gone through even half the stuff you have this year, I'd have permanent broom stick indents in my thighs. So you sift that witch if you want to but just know you're more than entitled to let her fly!
Judy,
ReplyDeleteYes, I do believe venting is very good for us. I tend to feel better after a good vent session.
I love the idea of dancing until dawn with dear friends. I truly like how you think! :)
Kim,
Witchy attitude scones with mad tea brew! LOL! What a concept!
Thank you for your sweet comments. You are one who knows me very well..you know my heart. I shall allow my witch to surface when absolutely necessary. I'll ride the broomstick happily and make sure to avoid broomstick indentations on my thighs! LOL! Love you!
Hugs to you both dears!
Sandra